Strangerland Sorry thats what I meant to say. I approach the topic with caution, always buffering any comment with praise, then I might get something like, "yes, but we Japanese dont like others.. If you think it's hard being a foreigner in Japan, you should see what it's like being Japanese here. On the surface, this seems like something everybody would want. What 'usual fake praise'? Maybe their personal experience is atypical and they are ignorant to how their peers' relationships with Japanese are.
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Is that i make so easy new friends: Once we've been introduced, or they've seen me talking to someone in Japanese, or I've approached them, there's usually no problem. I confided to a group of Japanese female "friends" that I was being badly sexually harassed at work. Learning the language is a given of course - how else are you going to communicate? I have no problem speaking Japanese I am a simultaneous interpreter , but most of the women avoid extended conversation and have nothing really to say to me.
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But I don't snap at them, instead, I just say "yes, many westerners can use them, I've been using them most of my life". Your problem is the opposite of course, you expect everyone to speak your lingo and then complain when they don't do it well. They truly have made me feel a lot of love in my life. There seems to be a lack of positive meaning to this sign these days, however. I like being a foreigner in Japan. Personal relationships are mendokusai, and as soon as the interest has worn off, the gaijin becomes mendokusai. They don't even try to speak a word of English
Most gaijin cannot communicate at the native Japanese level and thus its only to be expected that making friends especially close friends is less likely. When they travel abroad or work abroad, they have to make the effort to make freinds with the people of the country, not only of their own kind. I admit that the West is too preoccupied with things outside their borders and should concentrate on more domestic issues, but I really appreciated your post and could relate. Chen would have if she limited her circle to only those who spoke Chinese? I agree that personality comes into it as does humility.